No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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