It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Randomize
