...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
