what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
