I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I don't deserve a penis
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
