dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
