I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
