you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
