I could have mohawked her pubes.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
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