k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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