I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
