Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
