that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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