omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
