Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
