Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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