Please, let me fuck your mom
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
