you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
