I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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