They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
