Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
the day after is always just damage control
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
two words: eviction party
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
