Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize