Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
