so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
