I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
