U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
