the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
