Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
