...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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