How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
