I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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