Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
