I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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