so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
