She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
