We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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