did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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