Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We left the knife in your bed.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
