I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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