remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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