I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
So squirting runs in the family.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Randomize
