Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
