I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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