is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
