Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize