how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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