honey bunches of taint.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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