btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
