Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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