If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i would one night stand the shit outta him
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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